आई (Aai)

O! I miss her so much.
I lost my mom 8 yrs ago. The only thing that kept me going was my son. At that time he was only 9 months old. I still remember, it was going to be my first visit to India since I married and had a kid. She was so happy and couldn't wait to see her grandchild. Just 2 weeks before our scheduled date she had a massive heart attack. I was devastated, I couldn't believe (I didn't want to believe). I was so mad at God for taking her away from us. I was mad at myself that I didn't say 'I love you mom' as much as I should have. I could give anything to get a moment to be with her, to feel her warm touch or hear her voice.
As long as I could remember, she always took care of us four siblings and our dad. She used to do cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes and grocery shopping too without any domesticd help. I can still smell the aroma of the chapatis she used to make. She did all the work without any 'moms night out' or 'me-time'. I can never understand how she did. I think she just had this amazing strength and was a Super mom.
Though, she didn't have any higher education, she made sure that all her kids did. She always taught my sister and I to be independent and sow this belief that we could do anything that we set our minds on. She always wanted the best for her children and never compromised with our well being.
As a person, she was very smart, intelligent, very witty, funny and a very loving and caring woman. From the age of 10, she started taking care of her siblings when grandma was busy producing them. She raised 5 sisters and 4 brothers with a little help from grandma. I think that was a start for motherhood for her. She missed her childhood all together. Its like she was a mom all her life.

Now, I have two beautiful kids and I am very grateful to God to have given me the honor of being a Mother. I always regret that I was not close to my mom and I am more determined to be a good friend to my kids. I love my "Aai" and will always miss her.